. In a car we can't afford . [CC Inbox]

[killertrack]

INBOX text / audio / video / action with a plan we don't have code credit

Comments

[recoined]

i'm not going to
i promise

what's going on?

[killertrack]

idk, i just.

i really like her, okay. i do. but we've spent every minute outside of work together since we started dating. and i know her idea of dating is different from mine, but we're not married. i can't - i can't be the only one responsible for her happiness. i'll fuck up, and she deserves better

[recoined]

well, you did kinda fuck up, i'm not gonna lie

( but they've all fucked up at some point or another. they're human. they make mistakes. she's not holding it against him. )

i tried to tell you she didn't really get dating as a thing
but you can't just say 'go away' and expect her to understand you either

you guys need to still be your own people, i get it
she needs hobbies that aren't doing nice things for you
maybe say that nicely next time?

[killertrack]

i know
i know, i was a dick, i just got
angry

it's not fair to her, i know
i'll apologize
i'll be better

[recoined]

it's not fair to you either, dummy
i don't want you to be upset or angry or whatever

i was worried about you

[killertrack]

i'm angry with myself, because i lashed out at her

i should have just walked away, but she probably would be just as upset about that

i'm fine. i took a drive, i'm at the beach. just taking a breath.

[recoined]

or you could have talked about it like a normal person
i'd be pissed if you walked away from me too

[killertrack]

she walked away from me, actually
i was angry but i was still willing to explain
she's the one that clammed up and walked out

[recoined]

idk how much explaining you can do when you're pissed off
but that's not the point

i don't want either of you to be upset

[killertrack]

well i could have tried..

too late for not being upset, but i don't think it's like. the end of the world, either. we'll talk it out, i'm sure

you've never got into fights with rob?

[recoined]

you better

and idk? we don't really fight
i think the maddest i ever got at him was when he wouldn't just ask me to the stupid dance

is that weird?

[killertrack]

it's not weird
i don't really fight with people either usually

it's just
it gets under my skin
i want her to have a life, she deserves one
it shouldn't revolve around me

[recoined]

she has a life, though
she has a dog and friends and a job

( after all, kimberly and sansa are friends. they spend time together, though maybe less now that she and baby have fallen into their patterns, but that's not been something that has surprised kimberly very much. it's the thing that happens when people start dating -- the honeymoon period. )

if you don't want to live together just say that, you know?

[killertrack]

i did
i did say that and that's how this happened

sure she has a life
she has a job, but the moment she's not at it she's at mine
she has a dog which she brings over to my apartment with her
she has friends which she must not see very often since she's always with me

i sound ungrateful
i know she's very special and she's amazing
i just can't be responsible for everything she hinges her happiness on

[recoined]

( there's a bit of a delay on kimberly's end while she tries to figure out what to suggest. if she's honest, it just sounds like maybe sansa is being a little clingy for a hip millennial girlfriend, but it doesn't seem fair to blame her for that either. since, you know, sansa's neither hip nor a millennial... even if kimberly's been trying to slowly but surely drag her into the new century. )

when robbie and i first starting dating
like actually dating

( because there was that whole messy period where they were hooking up but not actually Dating... )

i think i was pretty clingy too
it's just a girl thing
we get excited

it's nice to have somebody to take care of

[killertrack]

yeah
i'll talk to her about it, i know

it's just - i feel like there's a power imbalance
she's used to like. being submissive to whoever she's with
and not be able to have what she wants
or tell anyone to fuck off
and that's just not right, if she thinks she has to be at like, my beck and call

[recoined]

i don't think she thinks that though
like any time i ask her if she wants to go to a movie or go dancing with us or whatever, she always says she wants to make sure you guys don't have plans
i don't think she's worried you're gonna say no

she really likes you
she just seemed upset that you didn't want her around

[killertrack]

but see, that's the problem
she thinks she has to defer to me and my thoughts and what i want or don't want to do
she's not thinking 'oh yeah i want to do this' and just does it
she doesn't have to ask my permission to live her life

you say that like you think i don't like her right back

[recoined]

you know i do the same thing, right?
i check with robbie to make sure we don't have plans or that he didn't want to hang out before i go out with other people
i'm not deferring to him or asking him if i can
i just don't want to bail on him if we're supposed to do stuff or if he wanted to hang out with me

also, duh.
i know you like her, dummy
that's why i'm trying to help you not screw this up

[killertrack]

to me it feels like she's asking for my permission

and i just need to put my thoughts in order, and then i'll sit down with sansa

[recoined]

don't overthink it, you know
let me know how it goes

[killertrack]

i'm sure she'll tell you

speak later, kimbi
thanks for the pep talk